Married with feelings for another man...can anyone give me advice on how to deal with this?

I have been married for 5 years now and I love my husband very much, but up until about 6 weeks ago, he was a very heavy ';weekend drinker'; with my birthday weekend being the last weekend he drank. about 3 weeks prior to that date i met a guy, who is absolutely amazing, and we have so much in common and can talk for hours and not get bored. mind you at this point I was seriously thinking about leaving my husband cause i couldn't deal with the constant fights he was getting into, among other bullshit. well over the 3 weeks this guy and i were talking, i caught feelings, and very strong ones. then my husband quit drinking and we decided to work things out, not just for us but for the sake of our girls. but i find myself still attracted to this guy, and still have feelings, but now he has gotten back in contact with his first love, and i would like to know if anyone has any advice on how to deal with this, and how to make the feelings i have for this guy ';go away'; so that i can devote my whole heart and soul to my husband again. PLEASE only SERIOUS answers, as this is a serious matter.Married with feelings for another man...can anyone give me advice on how to deal with this?
Good for you for wanting to work it out for your sake, the sake of your husband and the girls. If you feed something, it grows. Divert your thoughts to something else and eventually you will not have trouble putting this other guy out of your mind. Never take up contact with him again - EVER.





Contact the organization below, they can help you and your husband.Married with feelings for another man...can anyone give me advice on how to deal with this?
Every time you look at your girls just remember how miserable they would be if you and their father got a divorce. Especially in light of him sobering up. Time to try and reconnect with your husband. Perhaps some counseling and your husband coming to terms with his alcoholism. If you have alcohol in your home, get rid of it. Why have temptations there for your husband.
Which is more important, your husband and marriage or some new guy that just wants to get into your pants. Oh, and don't kid yourself, any guy hitting on a married woman is only after sex.
Don't bother if your both looking at other options go ahead and hook up with the other guy get a divorce and be happier
Okay, let me tell explain my experience in your situation.





As married women we do get bored easily and our husbands can be really BIG AZZ JERKS toward us. Its like they take us for granted...and then it seems like we meet or come across the most amazing dude/';other guy'; in like the right time when we need him to be there!! Its AMAZING how that works...lol Its like he does things that the husband in our lives USED TO DO!!! The long talks...the laughs...the great sex...etc...





But from experience and after everything goes down....Big J was right ...the ';other man'; only want what they can't have and that's our coochie (its like braggin rights to them)!!! A trust me a man will say ANYTHING under the sun that sounds OH SO GREAT TO US - to get into our pants!!! But really when you sit back and really evaluate what's going on...the other guy is not worth it - he's a JERK TOO!!!





Seriously, do you really want to start all over again with another relationship....him learning you and you learning him....Plus, the other dude is like a new piece of shiny jewelry...once the shine wears off you want another!! lol





The trick is out here is ';NOT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER';......just have fun!





Something I wish someone would have explained to me....I ended up falling in love with the other and got my heartbroken in the end....and I had to sit back and just realized no matter how much my husband is an AZZHOLE he's my azzhole until death due us part!!!!





Seriously, what you need is a vacation with your girls - a couple of big glasses of wine - and a nice FULL BODY MASSAGE!!! :-)





Yes, its true ...nobody told us marriage would be like this...but if you do decide to leave your husband...leave him b/c YOU WANT TO LEAVE HIM...not b/c another man is involved...b/c if that's the case it will only complicate everything!!!





Married 7 - Together for 14!!!
First of all, break contact with this guy. He'll only get in the way if you're trying to reconnect with your husband.





It may seem like this guy is amazing and perfect, but you're only seeing the surface at this point. you have lots to talk about because it's new and exciting. What you aren't seeing is that he has flaws too. The fact that he is willing to flirt with or persue a relationship with a maried woman should be a sign of his character.





And of course he'll seem like a great guy. You are a target to him and he is playing you. The whole ';I'd never take you for granted like your jerk of a husband'; is an angle guys have used for years.





You just aren't seeing that right now through your rose coloured glasses.





Try to get away and spend some time with your husband and you'll most likely find that the feelings for the new guy will quickly fade.
If you are serious about devoting yourself to your husband, you cut off contact with this other guy right now. Right this second. Promise yourself right now you will not entertain ideas of that man ever again.





You also need to confront your husband about his innapropriate behavior of contacting an ex, because he is crossing boundries, and you need to let him no you won't put up with that. If he is serious about you two then he will stop that.





You two should also enroll with a marital counselor, but be careful which one you pick. Some let their personal opinions come in instead of their education. I recommend a christian counselor because they want marriages to work and from my personal experience they are the best.
I am so sorry you are in this situation. The best thing I can say is to cut this new guy out all the way. No contact at all. You shouldn't have had the relationship you had with him, but you did, and the best you can do at this point is get him out of your life and focus on your family.





My other suggestion is to think about therapy. If not for you as a couple, at least for you as an individual.
Hi This isn't always easy the feelings you caught for the other man was becauseyou were fed up with what was going on.I think if youstayed focused on what really matters to you it will be ok and in time it will fade. I knowthat seems hard right now because he was there when you most needed him,but stayed focused on your husband and the girls involve yourself with them more and it will diminish. You may find yourself wondering if this was the right choice because as you said you both connected nicely.But in the 3 weeks you knew him you only knew the him you needed at that time. And actually him contactinghis 1st love he is looking for sosmthing for himself that he can't find. he ain't secure within himself either. so you may think the choice is hard but it wasn't ya made the right one by giving this another shot. and if you too were meant to be it will be down the road for now focus on where you are.Was with a drinker 4 yrs it was a lonly life for me who had so much life in me. No i ended up givingup but that was me i gave it a chance oh one to many times im good now ina steady happy realtonship with a good guy who can give me the time. not the bottle. But give it a chance 1st before you move forward. Good luck to you