Advice on marrying a navy man?

I have been dating a navy man for about 8 months now. We have talked about marriage, however I am still hesitant. We are both very much in love with each other; the problem is that I do not have very much knowledge about what being a military wife is like. He is currently in an Officer candidate program which I think is supposed to make it easier, but I do not really know. We have talked about kids and we both want them eventually. The other problem is that there is a pretty big age difference between us. I am almost 21 and he just turned 28. I am still in school and have two years left until I finish my BA. I plan to enter a one year program that allows me to get my masters in teaching right after my BA as well. He is here for at least another year until he finishes his program but after that we don't really know. Basically what I am looking for are some information systems that will allow me to understand what being a navy wife is like other than just being told it is hard. Thanks!Advice on marrying a navy man?
get your degrees first. if you are still together at that point, then discuss marriage.





it's a hard life. not everyone is strong enough to be a military spouse. If you can handle long stretches of no communication, acknowledge the fact that the Navy always comes first and be independent to a fault, you can make it.Advice on marrying a navy man?
well this may seem kind of silly, but there is this show on lifetime called 'army wives'. i hear it is pretty similar to the real deal. of course reading books by military wives can be informative and encouraging. does your boyfriend have and military married friends? a double date might give you an idea of the navy wife role.





one thing that may be hard is the moving around. every state has different requirements for their teachers, so make sure you fit those various qualifications.
he is an officer so that is a good man. dont sweat the small stuff.





your only problem will be that it might be hard to teach in most states. tell him to get san diego because its so big he can spend 8-10 years there and then you can teach.





if you move around some, try teaching in private schools or see, the navy might let u teach on base or have a program for you.
I was also Navy. He will be gone 9 or 10 months out of the year. We had a saying. ';Buy a camera and watch your loved ones grow up in pictures';. You will have good benefits and always have a home but he will not be a big part of it. He will be gone all the time.
it will be hard but if you love him you will wait. besides you will have more time to consintrate on your school work.
i think that you should wait and see how things pan out when he leaves. that will be the real test because the long distance is always going to be a factor in your lives. i think that instead of defining yourself as a navy wife, define yourself as a teacher. do what you have to do to get where you need to be in life. the navy is hard on relationships. there is 6-9 month deployments. random underways during the month. events that he must go to just because he's an officer. its a hard life to get used to but if you guys are really in love and have that trust then whats the harm in waiting and seeing where life takes you.
Seven years is not a significant age difference. When he is 90, you will be 83. If you think about it that way, it puts things in perspective.





As to the military, it makes married live easier in some ways, harder in others. As a Navy wife you will be asked to live in such horrid third-world places as Honolulu, Hawaii and San Deigo, California. But there is always a positive side to things. Even though you are living in such squalid conditions, you will be able to see your husband 7 or 8 months non-consecutive months every year (assuming he is on sea duty).





Military is different from civilian life. Officer pay is alright and you will always have housing, health care and recreational opportunities wherever you are stationed. But you will have some separation time with your spouse. If if is in a sea-duty speciality, it could be 9 months every year. If it is not, it might be two weeks every four years for a training course. But you will move, sometimes your housing will be substandard, sometimes you will have kid-crises and you will need to deal with them yourself because the hubster is away.





I've seen military married and single life and civilian married and single life. Pretty much, they all have their ups and downs, they are just in different places. (Except for civilian single life, that rocked!) But otherwise, the trials and tribulations were pretty much the same.





So if you want to spend the rest of your life with your midshipman, do so. If you don't, dont.
i think everyones experience is different and how they handle the lifestyle, but for me personally i really dont find it that bad. I'm not going to lie though, i have met some other navy wives where living this way day in and day out was really hard on them. but i can only tell you what my experience has been so far. When we first got married we were in hawaii and he was on a destroyer. He was gone anywhere from a couple days, weeks, a month or so at a time for about the first 6 months we were married, then he left for a 6 month deployment. On top of this when he was in port there would be duty days. Needless to say i didn't see a lot of him for that first year and half. Then he cross rated into a new rate which as of right now is basically a shore command and i've seen my husband everyday for the past 2 years. Maybe i have a different attitude about it, and i know he does something that is really important, but i just see this is what my husband does. I think there are many great things about this way of life. Normally about every 3 years you will be somewhere new, and get to experience living in a new place. Most likely you will always be near a beach. I've met so many cool people, and have made some lasting friendships. The goodbyes are tough but i like change. I recommend if you can finish you degree, because it will be easier on you, and then also look into the reciprocity arrangement your state has with what other state you are going to so you can see if your teaching certificate is transferable. and look into retirement packages for transient teachers. I think the age difference is up to you, if you have the same goals and morals i dont see how it would be a problem. One of my best friends here has a similar age difference with her husband and they seem very happy. Hope everything works out for you and if you have any questions feel free to email me.
The best advice I can give is: finish school! It would be much harder later if you don't. If he is the right guy for you, what his career is won't matter as much. It is a challenge at times, you didn't say what he is going to do in the Navy and that makes a bit of the difference on how often you move and what the schedule is like. Everyone talks about deployments what no one talks about is ';duty.'; I am more familiar with the surface world, so that is what I will speak to. Ships cannot be unmanned, so about 1/3 of the crew must be on board at all times. Because of this, surface officers spend every 3rd or 4th night on the ship. This can be a major pain. Especially when they get the duty the day before or the day after they leave for a month or so.





The health-care is there, but you get what you pay for. Its free for a reason. Many of the doctors feel like ';I can't get sued so I can do whatever I want.'; There is one military hospital in Florida that has been in the paper for killing quite a few people. This is not meant to be a scare tactic, its just the reality of the situation.





Oh, and Army wives, is pure unadulterated fiction. The show makes me ill.
After reading some of your answers, I just need to announce to everyone that Army Wives is not quite as accurate as one might think. Some things they touch base on are more dramatic than it should be and vice versa. After saying that, I am an army wive twice over.





I am currently standing by my man in my second deployment, but, my husbands first. There are many things you need to know. When you marry in, your life is NO longer YOUR life. You marry the military, not your husband. You wont have much time with him, you will get frusterated with the stupid things they pull, and once in awhile he will have to leave in the middle of the night. You are going to be forced to do everything on your own while hes gone, forced to learn new independence than anything youve known. You are going to have to spend money on stupid crap you dont wanna spend money on and you are going to have to learn how to do all the ';men'; jobs he did while he was home.





As crappy as all of this sounds, there are advantages. The good healthcare, the (not so good, but..) steady pay check that always increases, the bonuses, the ability to check pay before you get it, all those things. There are other perks, but they vary from post to post and from military branches.





Basicially, no one can tell you that you should or shouldnt. My husband was in the military whenI met him. I signed those papers and agreed to marry him knowing what the army was like. I feel that its not my place to ***** and complain and try to get him to serve his time and get out. This was his choice and its my duty to stand by him and be every bit of wife that I can be. All I can say is that ';you dont miss your water until the well runs dry'; In my case its too true. The best thing that you will ever experience is to reunite with the person you love that has been gone for so long. To me, that is what makes it all worth it. I love knowing that I am a hero in my own way. TOO many wives out do heinous things while their men are gone and I am NOT one of those.





If you think you cant do it, then maybe you shouldnt. I believe I was made to endure this lifestyle, so I do...





As for moving all the time, thats bull. We got to Ft. Hood in 2006 and will be here until 2013 guaranteed. It all depends on your MOS and your unit....